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Debra Classen turned the tragedy of her mother's death into beauty

For many of us, the ultimate test of faith comes after experiencing a significant loss -- of a loved one, health, a job or even a way of being in the world that matters deeply to us. Our spiritual lives may help us cope and make sense of suffering, but just as often we end up wondering: Why weren't my prayers answered? Why did this horrible thing happen to such a decent person? What was God thinking?

Suffering may be unavoidable, but we do have choices about how to respond over time to the hurt of a loss. Debra Classen was a 19-year-old art student living in San Francisco in 1979 when her mother was raped and murdered, her body found near the Golden Gate Bridge. The crime remains unsolved, but nearly 30 years later Classen says she no longer cares about finding the killer. She has chosen to make her mother's death the impetus for her ministry, The Mute Swan, which is dedicated to finding the divine in art and everyday life.

Classen, who holds an M.A. in theology, offers educational workshops, retreats and seminars where she teaches what she describes as "an ancient philosophy of beauty, a message gleaned through the ages from poets, authors, artists, philosophers, mystics, and theologians." She also offers a free quarterly e-mail journal, also named "The Mute Swan," with artwork, poems, prayers, and articles aimed at helping readers to pay attention to "God's ever-present beauty -- even in the midst of struggles."

Classen lives in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. I spoke with her by phone about what she's learned from the good times and the bad, and how one can put pain to work in order to create something beautiful.

You became a Catholic when you were 28 years old. How did that happen?
I think, because of the circumstances of my life at that point, I was really seeking something beyond my own pain. I was experimenting with a lot of different faiths, looking for one that resonated me. A friend I had met at an exercise class when my kids were real little had invited me to her church -- she was Catholic. I thought, "OK. I'll see what this is about." I was profoundly moved by the experience, particularly by seeing the crucifix. I had never consciously looked at a crucifix before.

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